Overcoming Separation Anxiety: Four "Tried and True" Strategies to Support Your Student Through the Transition to School

With August just around the corner, many families are preparing their preschool or kindergarten students for an exciting new adventure in school. While this season can be exciting, it can also come with some nerves--for both the kids and the parents! Whether it's your child's very first time in a classroom setting or they are moving up to a new teacher or campus, it is very normal for young children to experience some anxiety about the change, and this can often express itself as separation anxiety. 

While this is a normal stage of development, it can be difficult for both parents and children. As a child is feeling anxiety over being separated from his parent, he/she “may show their distress by becoming apprehensive about entering a new setting, not making eye contact with the teacher or caregiver, clinging to his parent, or possibly throwing a temper tantrum” (Durocher, 2004).

Letting go can also be difficult for the parents. You can experience separation anxiety just as much as your child. Not only might you be nervous about being away from your child, or concerned about your child’s adjustment, but you may also be worried about how your child will behave while you are not there. “Although it is common for both child and parent to experience some separation anxiety during the preschool years, some parents will stop leaving their child because it is too traumatic for both of them” (Johnson, 2004). Child development professionals urge parents not to make this mistake. “In the long run it is best for both parents and children if children have experiences beyond the parent” (Johnson, 2004).

The following suggestions are “tried and true” strategies to help ease this transition for you and your child.

• Prepare your child for the change ahead of time by discussing what will happen. There are many great children’s storybooks that can assist you with this, such as “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn.
• Speak positively about school with your child. Your child will take his/her emotional cues from you. If you display confidence, your child will begin to feel confident. If, however, you appear unsure, that apprehension will translate to your child.
• Communicate with the preschool staff about your child’s needs. Overcoming separation anxiety is a team effort between parents and teachers. As parents communicate their children’s needs, the teachers can adjust to meet their individual needs.
• Always say good-bye to your child. While sneaking out may seem easier at the moment, it will only serve to teach your child to not trust you. Having a consistent, reassuring good-bye routine will become a valuable tool. “Hug, kiss, love ya’, bye!” has always worked quite well.

At Grace School, we are committed to partnering with parents in all stages and seasons of your child's education. We know how hard it can be to entrust your child's care to another person, and we take that responsibility seriously. At Grace, you can trust that your child is being educated and cared for by loving Christ-followers who see their work as a ministry. Our teachers love your children and desire to come alongside you in partnership. Even now, we are praying for the upcoming school year and the students who will fill our classrooms, and we are excited to see how God will work in each child's life as they grow into the unique individuals God created them to be! We hope these four tips are helpful as you prepare your child (and yourself) for this exciting new season.

Resources

Durocher, H. (2004).  Mommy, Don’t Go! Handling Separation Anxiety.  Retrieved August 25, 2004 from the Preschoolers Today web site at http://preschoolerstoday.com/resources/articles/dontgo.htm

Johnson, G. (2004).  What About Mom and Dad? Preparing Parents for Preschool.  Retrieved August 25, 2004 from the Preschoolers Today web site at http://preschoolerstoday.com/resources/articles/parentsprepare.htm